


Your Heart/My Heart

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Getting Back Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-08-14 00:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20183371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: When they're young, James and Tony break up for basically no reason. It takes them twenty years to get back together.





	1. Enough Of Silly Love Songs

**Author's Note:**

> For Ironhusbands bingo fill N5-Break Up

James felt like there was a buzzing by both his ears, making it hard to focus on anything. He could still hear the sound of a poker game happening on the opposite side of the room, and Johnson was telling a drunken story to a tableful of equally drunk soldiers, but it all faded to the background, like that white noise machine Carol had shown him a few months back. 

When he'd made this call, he'd been happy, expecting to tell Tony that he had leave coming up, and he'd be back for an entire week this time instead of the three days like usual. Tony was busy with the company these days, but he always had time for Rhodey, and even if his days were filled to the brim, that still left them with evenings and mornings all to themselves. He'd imagined cuddling on the couch (and sex on the couch), cooking breakfast for Tony like when they'd shared an apartment (and sex in the kitchen like Tony had always tried to convince him was a good idea), and, of course, getting to sleep next to each other (with lazy sex in the morning and maybe something passionate at night if they weren't worn out). He'd thought that he could joke about those plans with Tony, and they'd do some of them, sure, but mostly he couldn't wait to just be around him again. 

"What?" he said numbly. 

Across the line, Tony cleared his throat uncomfortably. "_I just... don't think our lives really match up anymore, you know? We used to go to college together, but now you're in the military, and I'm running SI._" 

That didn't sound like something Tony would come up with, it sounded like something Obadiah would say to him. The man never had liked Rhodey, and he'd liked their relationship even less. "So? People don't have to be doing the same thing to be happy together." 

"_Maybe, but I'm not happy with us._" 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

"Uh oh Rhodes, having a problem with the missus?" someone jeered, and he flipped them off without glancing over or changing his posture at all. The guys moved on to more important things, like who was buying the next round of beers, and he had relative privacy again. 

Tony sighed, but it was more like he didn't want it to be taking this long than any actual exasperation. "_I feel like all I do is wait around for you to show up. Three days every year? I want more than that, James, and you knew that when you left but you still went._" 

"That's not fair." Tony knew that he'd been wanting to join the air force since he was a kid and had gone to the air and space museum and fallen in love with the ships. He also knew how hard James'd had to work to be taken seriously once he joined, with everyone expecting him to drop out for some reason or another-- half of them racist, the other half also racist just not as obvious. 

"_I'm not blaming you, but that's exactly my point: we want different things. We should've broken up as soon as you joined, I don't know why either of us thought this would work._" 

"Are you reading directly from Obadiah's script or did he just give you the highlights?" 

"_What?_" Tony said, then gave a humorless laugh. "_I get it, Tony should make his own decisions until that decision is to dump you. You're just like everyone else, James; I'm a meal ticket for you, and I always have been. Well I'm tired of it, so you can go fuck yourself. I don't need you holding my hand anymore, I can run my life without you_." 

The words stung, but they still didn't sound like Tony. He wouldn't be able to convince him of that over the phone though, not with the way this conversation was going. "You've always been able to run your own life Tony, you've never _needed_ me to do anything." His grip on the phone tightened as it started to hit him that he couldn't salvage their relationship like this, if at all. "And no matter what else you think of me right now, I _do_ love you." 

"_...Whatever._" 

Everything else had kind of rolled off him, but that was like a stab to the gut. 

"_Have a good life, enjoy your future relationships, yada yada yada, bye,_" he said in a bored voice. The line clicked, and the dialtone sounded in his ear. 

* * *

He somehow ended up as the liaison to Stark Industries, and he thought that maybe Tony wanted to get back together. It was all friendly smiles and a carefully curated distance though, and 'James' turned into 'Rhodey' full time, so he gave up the last vestiges of hope.


	2. An Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony reaches out, but James doubts that he means it. 
> 
> (Aka, still not together...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fill for Ironhusbands Bingo G5-Abandonment Issues

****Tony flew into a wormhole to outer space god only knows how many lightyears away with a fucking nuke, and-- because he was Tony-- he dropped out, miraculously alive. "Hey honey bear, you know what I was thinking?" He continued without waiting for an answer, "We should have a sleepover in the living room like we used to do before sex started getting in the way. It'll be a massive pile of blankets and pillows and I get to sleep on top of you, no you don't get to argue, I just saved the world-- or at least New York-- and I deserve cuddles for my hard work." 

"As I recall, there were only ever two pillows, and I was using both of them." And sex getting in the way? They'd had plenty of sleepovers without sex, so he didn't know where this was coming from. Well, maybe not _sleepovers_, but they'd been sharing a room-- and a bed-- for over a year before James had shipped off. 

"Well why would I need a pillow when I'm sleeping on top of you?" 

"You always get grumpy when you try that, and then you spend the next day complaining that your neck hurts." 

"That was young me, older me just wants a Rhodey bear pillow, why are you denying me?" 

James rolled his eyes to cover how fond he felt. "Fine, have it your way," he grumbled as they started walking. 

He didn't want to let Tony out of his sight, and it seemed that Tony felt the same way. Well. Not the _same_ way, more like he didn't want to be left alone. And, given his insistence on not being alone tonight when-- since their breakup decades ago-- he'd never wanted to spend the night alone with Rhodey, that made more sense than what James _wanted_ to believe. Whatever, he'd get over this eventually. He ignored the fact that he'd been telling himself that about their relationship for the past twenty years, and held onto the hope that one day he'd be able to look at Tony and only see his best friend, no strings. 

They went through the partially destroyed tower, loading up their arms with blankets until Tony declared that they had enough and went to his room. He dumped them on his bed and started separating them so they resembled individual pieces instead of a pattern nightmare. James joined him, though he didn't really know what he was doing here; the longer Tony had to think about it, the more likely it was that he'd change his mind. Pepper was coming back soon, and Tony had spent far longer without sleep waiting for things, not to mention that with Pepper, he wouldn't have to worry about the stickiness of a long since ended relationship. Tony got bored of sorting blankets and threw himself face first onto the mattress. 

James sighed and sat down next to him. Tony turned his face so that it was pressed against his thigh instead of the bed. "James?" 

He glanced down. Tony's hair was a mess, blood and grime and a ridiculous amount of dried sweat making it stick up every which way. Tony in general was a mess, and he'd _missed_ him. He saw him more often now than he had in previous years, but it still felt like it wasn't enough. "Yeah?" 

"Do you ever think about us?" 

James blinked. Of course he did. He wouldn't say that he thought about it every day, but most of the time... yeah. It wasn't anything all-consuming, but he'd see something and want to tell Tony about it. Someone would tell a bad joke, and his first thought was 'Tony will think that's _hilarious_'. He knew that technically someone could feel that way about their friends, but there was always a romantic cast to it for him. Whenever he thought those things, it was always because he'd forgotten-- just for an instant-- that they weren't together anymore. He knew it was pathetic that this was still happening after _twenty years_, but... well, that's just how it was. Some people believed there was one perfect person for you out there, and James fully believed that that was Tony for him. 

"Like, how we used to be. The dating, the sex... it was good, right?" 

He took a deep breath, falling back on the bed as well. "Yeah, Tones, it was good while it lasted. Why are you bringing this up now?" 

"I dunno," he lied. He turned his face a little bit more so that his eye could be open and see something other than darkness. His hand curled around Rhodey's leg, fingers resting high on his calf. "I guess I was just... thinking. You've always been here for me when I need you, you know?" 

Like he was there in Afghanistan? Or when Obadiah lost his fucking mind and tried to kill him? "Not really," was what he said aloud. 

"You have though." Tony propped himself on his elbows, looking over at him. "With Iron Man-" 

"Oh like when I stole one of your suits and attacked you?" 

Tony's expression hardened. "It wasn't like that, and you know it." 

"That's basically what it was like," he said flatly. Tony had been dying, and what had he done? Got mad at him for acting reckless. If all his years of pining proved anything, it's that he didn't have the healthiest attitude when it came to Tony. He fucking loved him, had no idea how to stop doing it, and so he ended up in this weird limbo thing where he was obsessed but didn't do anything about it. 

"You know, you're making this a lot harder than it needs to be. I kinda thought I'd jump you and you wouldn't say no, but now I'm having doubts. You're making me doubt myself Rhodey, that's not nice." 

He snorted. "You're not gonna jump me because you don't want me. Also because we're both laying down." 

"Why are you making it sound like that?" Tony asked, voice small. 

"Like what?" 

"Like it's a joke." 

"Isn't it?" 

"No." 

"Yes it is." 

"What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

"Either it's a joke in poor taste, or you've decided-- after _twenty years_\-- that actually, you know what, you do miss me." 

"I've always missed you," Tony said quietly, and it felt like kicking a bunny when he spoke next. 

"No you haven't." James sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "Let's just get some sleep." Tony didn't want him like that, and he hadn't in decades. That wasn't changing just because Tony had a near death experience. Rather, he died, it just didn't last. Rhodey's point still stood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they get together the next chapter!


	3. A Mistake Here But Not There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ironhusbands Bingo O1-Post Canon: AOU, Tony Stark Bingo S3-Old Team

****Tony was holding himself up against the counter, hands planted and arms held ramrod straight as his spine curved forward. He struggled to catch his breath, gasping for air like he couldn't get it, the same as he'd done directly after Afghanistan. 

James came up to his side, putting a gentle hand in the middle of his back. Tony was shaking. "You okay?" 

"I fuck up. That's- that's what I do. Tony Stark fucks up, it should be my catch phrase." 

"You're only human. Humans make mistakes, it's okay." 

"'Everybody makes mistakes' is supposed to mean that it's okay if I snap at you when I'm in a bad mood. Not 'you built a homicidal AI that destroyed an entire city and tried to erase all living creatures from the face of the planet'." 

"Not to burst your self-hate bubble Tony, but your involvement in creating Ultron was secondary to others. You said yourself that when you tried to make him, none of the coding worked. And when Vision was introducing himself, he said that he's Ultron as he was meant to be. If you're going to take credit for one of them, it should be Vision, not Ultron." 

Tony sniffled, "You're full of shit," but his voice had changed from self deprecating to grateful. He turned to lean on James, his face tucking against James's shirt as Rhodey wrapped his arms around him and held him close. 

He'd never say it aloud, but it really did seem like it was one thing after another ever since Iron Man. However, he also got the feeling that it wouldn't stop if Tony retired. It was like a boulder at the top of a never-ending hill, tumbling down and down without stopping. Things weren't necessarily getting worse, so it wasn't a snowball, but it just... kept going. 

"Thanks for having my back." 

James pressed a kiss to his hair. "Always." 

* * *

They were in a strange limbo after that. More than friends, but they hadn't talked about anything extra. They weren't kissing, and they certainly weren't having sex, but other than that it was like they were dating again. Teasing and flirting, sharing a bed and starting their days with cups of coffee and breakfast if one of them felt like it-- otherwise it was a tub of yogurt and a spoon, sometimes two if they managed to remember. 

Steve visited the tower after a month had passed, a miasma of guilt circling his head as he mumbled his way through an apology that had clearly been memorized but was no less genuine for it. 

Tony was silent through it all. James was sitting next to him at the kitchen table, arms crossed over his chest as he listened. 

Steve finished, then swallowed thickly, looking at Tony for his response. 

Tony took a sip of his drink, then smiled at him. "No harm done Stevie-boy." 

"I think there was a lot of harm done," James muttered none too quietly. 

"Nothing that can't be fixed," Tony corrected. "Stop worrying Jim, things can only get better from here." 

"We were... actually thinking about that," Steve said, still looking tentative. They both turned to look at him. "We haven't been acting like a team. We show up to fights, finish them, then don't talk until the next fight." 

"So, what, you're suggesting team bonding? Game nights and dinner?" 

"I know you're busy," Steve said hurriedly, like he was afraid Tony would be offended at the suggestion otherwise. "It doesn't have to be every week, but we- rather I, I was hoping we could manage once a month. The first Saturday or something like that, that way we can all plan around it." 

Tony blinked slowly. "Oh. Yeah that sounds like a good idea." He turned to look at Rhodey. "First Saturday work for you?" 

"No cause I'm so busy these days," James said drily, rolling his eyes. "Pretty much my only job is being a part-time Avenger." 

"Full time Avenger," Steve piped up. He spread his hands when they both stared at him. "If you want it. You work so well together, and with Colonel Rhodes being retired from the military now, it made sense. If you don't want to, or you think it's a bad idea with your relationship so there should be a rotation-" 

"Relationship?" James interrupted. "What do you mean 'our relationship'?" 

"You're-" Steve waved vaguely between them "-boyfriends, partners, significant others. Whatever you want to call it." 

Neither of them said anything, James swallowing thickly and looking at his knees like they were fascinating. For his part, Tony was staring at Steve, mouth slightly ajar. Steve mused that, for once, he'd managed to make Tony speechless, even though he'd had no idea that that would be the outcome. He'd thought he was stating a fact, but after their reactions, it was clear that they weren't together. At _all_. 

"You're... not," was all Steve could think of to say about it. 

Tony shook his head in confirmation. 

"Uh, oops. Sorry." They continued to sit in awkward silence. "Maybe I should go," Steve said, standing up. "I'll be in touch. Please don't be a stranger Tony. I want us to be better than that now. Clean slate, right?" 

Tony nodded along, finally closing his mouth. "Right. See you 'round Cap." 

Steve bid them both farewell and left, hoping that he hadn't screwed things up for them for many reasons, not least of which because they were trying to start the new team off on the right foot. 

Tony cleared his throat when the silence started to become unbearable for him, turning towards James who was still looking down like it had the answer to the universe (other than 42, of course). "The last time I told you I wanted you, you didn't believe me." 

"What else was I supposed to think?" Rhodey asked defensively, but his tone lacked teeth. "After we broke up, you got squirrely any time I mentioned our relationship. Then you pretended nothing happened for so long I half-thought I dreamed it. You have a near-death experience and suddenly want me again? Would you have believed that in my position?" 

Tony wanted to say that of course he would have, because Tony loves James more than anything, but he hadn't given James any reason to believe that since he ended it. "You were right, it was Obadiah." 

"What?" James asked, completely confused. "What was Obadiah?" 

"When I broke up with you, you said it was because of him. And you were right, it was him. He got in my head." 

"He had a way of doing that," James mumbled, still bitter even though the man was long since dead. 

"Yeah," Tony said with a grimace. "I was thinking that you could do so much better on your own, and our relationship wasn't doing you any favors back then, and that's before he started in on it." 

"I get it Tony." At Tony's doubtful look, he added, "Really. I pretty much knew it was him the whole time." 

Tony nodded, and they fell back into silence. It felt like something should be fixed, but they were at the same point now that they were before Steve had said anything. 

"Twenty years is a long time to pine," Tony said conversationally. "For both of us." 

"I was always there Tony." His tone wasn't accusing, but Tony winced anyways. "You knew I was available for you, and you didn't care." 

"I cared, and again, I tried to get you back and you rejected me." 

James sighed, dragging a hand over his shaved head. "We're going in circles." 

"Yeah," Tony agreed, sighing as well. "I love you," he said, and it felt like the world quieted for an instant at his confession. "I'm sorry I made us lose all that time together, but I don't want us to lose any more because I was too much of a fucking coward to say it straight out." 

"I love you too, but you already know that." 

"I do, but it's still nice to hear. Especially after..." Ultron, Stane, Vanko, Killian, AIM, the list went on and on "-everything." 


	4. Going Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ironhusbands bingo O4-Kink: Blow Jobs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that took forever :/ I think it's pretty obvious I wasn't in the mood to write smut but like, I tried...?

James was minding his own business when Tony surprised him-- something you'd think he would have gotten used to from all their years together both as a couple and as friends. And what did Tony do? He just kinda grabbed James's cock through his jeans while Rhodey was finishing up dishes. "Fucking hell," he swore under his breath. 

"Aw Rhodey, aren't you happy to see me?" 

"All I can see of you right now is your hand, so no, I'm not really happy to see you." His libido wasn't what it used to be, and he hadn't thought much about it until he and Tony got officially together-- or as official as they were getting. Since that conversation with Steve where he thought they were dating, they'd fallen into something like that, going on the occasional date and kissing throughout the day. He definitely wanted to have sex with Tony again, but he wasn't sure if _Tony_ wanted to since it had been so long and their relationship was so different from what it'd been before. Sex was a topic neither of them were willing to broach until right fucking now apparently. 

"Aw but I missed you." Tony did move his hand away after that, but James turned around and grabbed him before he could get far. 

"Have you ever tried a kiss first? Jesus, Tony." 

And because Tony was Tony, he twisted in James's grip, kissing him soundly. He lost himself in the wet warmth of Tony's mouth, hands drifting down to squeeze his ass while Tony's hands gripped at his shoulders. Next thing he knew, Tony's hands were at his fly, and he was dropping to his knees. 

Tony didn't waste a goddamn second, leaning in to rub his face against the outline of James's cock through his boxers. He grabbed a condom from his back pocket and pulled the elastic down. And because Tony was _fucking_ Tony, he did that trick where he put the condom in his mouth and rolled it on by swallowing James's cock in one go. 

"Fuck!" James said, head banging back against the cabinets as his hands went to Tony's hair. "Tony what the hell are you-" 

"Do you really want to complain about me blowing you? Cause I can stop. Is that what you want? You want me to stop? It doesn't really look like you want me to," Tony said, jerking him off slowly while he was busy glaring up at Rhodey through narrowed eyes. "For fuck's sake James, just lean back and enjoy it, there are people that would pay for this experience." 

"Are you always this belligerent about sex? I don't remember it being like this the first time." 

"You weren't this resistant the first time," Tony argued. 

"Fine, I'll stop complaining. Look at me, not complaining, now will you _please_ continue?" 

"Bossy," Tony said with a smirk, but he leaned back in, taking the head of James's cock in his mouth. He gave a slow suck that made James tingle, then it was back to business. He started working his head faster, using his hand to cover the part of James's dick that his mouth couldn't easily reach, doing his best to get him over the edge as soon as possible. 

It was a um, _very_ awkward moment when Nat walked in after they were done but not put together yet. "Seriously?" she asked, holding up her hand so that she didn't have a view of either of them. "In the kitchen? I _eat_ in here!" 


End file.
